You F’d Up

You were lackadaisical when precision was needed.
You tried something new,
Bent the rules.

Your candied bacon cookies spread into giant, thin, sugar disks
Only to be salvaged by ice cream

Yes, if eaten quickly enough they can cradle vanilla ice cream rolled in candied bacon and pecans
But…
If after one cookie sandwich
you abstain from eating another

You’ll return to them the following day
and find the cookie crumbles in your mouth
Before you even chew
Every granule of sugar embedding itself on your tongue
Falling apart like a praline

So now you’ve spent hours in front of the stove
A pound of bacon
And more brown sugar than you care to count
And you haven’t the heart to throw them away
Nor do you have the humility to give these half ass cookies to anyone
This isn’t how you want to introduce people to your baking, is it?
You pop them in the freezer, your own cryogenic experiment.
You brainstorm on what future dessert they are waiting to become.

You pulse the cookies in a food processor.
Add brown butter and press into a pie pan,
Place it back in the oven.
You mix cream cheese with white chocolate pudding
You sprinkle in shaved chocolate and more candied bacon
When the reinvented cookie crust is baked and cooled
You fill it with the cream cheese concoction
You bite into it
You have turned lemons into lemonade, (again).