Scour your pantry. Discover that your memory is a big fat liar. You don’t have a single box of vanilla cake mix. Berate yourself when you find: lemon, gluten free strawberry, and german chocolate but no vanilla. Until, wait…wait…F*ck Yeah, you got some Funetti in the back!
Prepare said Funfetti and dye a cup and a half of it green. Spray your pans with that special powder-oil-in-one stuff (bakers spray) and fill those shamrocks with batter. You’re going to need about as many shamrocks that it takes to fill a bread pan.
But you’ll be an impatient little sh*t and only bake four. You’ll just “space ‘em out” you say. You remove the baked shamrocks from their pans and freeze them till you have the time to finish the outside layer of the cake. You refrigerate the leftover batter till you are good and ready for it.
A day passes. Netflix captures your attention, giving you entertainment, in exchange for your time. Another day passes. You remove your shamrocks from the freezer.
Then you fill the bread pan with batter. Pouring it over the frozen shamrocks before they had time to come to room temp. Then like a jerk you stuck them in the oven to bake at 375 degrees.
And guess what, you got a surprise you didn’t bargain for. Yes, that’s right your cake baked clear through on the edges but remained absolute goo in the middle. You baked and baked and babysat that cake sticking a chopstick in its various weak spots every three minutes.
And finally after 25 minutes (okay you don’t exactly know how long it took. You had other things to worry about) it was DONE. You let it cool. Stuck it in a ziplock bag and popped it in the freezer. Immediately planning to salvage your brick of a cake by cutting off the edges and drizzling it with an Irish Coffee glaze featuring Baileys and Jamison.